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odyssey of the weasel kingA Postmodern Fairy Tale Music: Aaron Ross and Anna Geyer Copyright: 2003 Aaron Ross and Anna Geyer. Published by Pleroma Publishing in Special thanks to Michael Yoshida, Michael Kelly, and Ebony Whitepaws (our muse) |
| Cast of Characters
King Bronwen, an Ermine ... Aaron Ross |
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| Overture Act I “King Bronwen’s Lament” Wizard Broc King Bronwen of Mustelid Sits staring at a katydid Can’t sleep at night, he walks the halls Has no appetite, won’t eat at all. King Bronwen I’m so lonely, I can’t stand it Can’t go out at night, walk the streets, Chill wit’ my peeps or go grocery shopping! Wizard Broc King Bronwen of Mustelid Aits staring at a katydid I must help him or he might die Get out a bit, enjoy the sky. King Bronwen I’m so messed up, I can’t stand it I wanna see the world, meet a girl, Hang and chat and stuff like that! Wizard Broc If you must go, it’s what you must do But take this mirror to protect you. King Bronwen Good wizard Broc, I just don’t see How could a mirror protect me From some unknown enemy? Wizard Broc It is enchanted, and its magic light Will dispel evil creatures of the night So as you go, don’t fret, my king Take this mirror and take my ring Take my nephew Milo as your guide Your trusted marten by your side. And now, King Bronwen, I cast this spell A magic disguise to keep you well You won’t appear as a royal ermine But a common weasel. I dub thee, “Herman.” King Bronwen Where shall we go, what shall we do? Milo, for guidance I look to you. “If I Were a Weasel” Milo If I were a weasel I’d drive a big diesel I’d drive my big truck all around. Wizard Broc All around Milo I’d stop at the truck stop I’d park in the back lot I’d watch the big wheels rollin’ ’round. Wizard Broc Rollin’ ’round King Bronwen An ermine is what I am A trucker is what I want to be A weasel is what you see But truckin’ will be my destiny. Milo If I were a weasel I’d drive a big diesel I’d sleep in the cab, not in town. Wizard Broc Not in town Milo I’d drive in the daylight I’d drive in the night time I’d watch the big sun goin’ down. Wizard Broc Goin’ down King Bronwen An ermine is what I am A trucker is what I want to be A weasel is what you see But truckin’ shall be my destiny. Milo If I were a weasel I’d drive a big diesel I’d be my own boss, not a clown. Wizard Broc Not a clown Milo I’d drive on the highways I’d drive on the byways I’d push that pedal to the ground. Wizard Broc To the ground King Bronwen An ermine is what I am A trucker is what I want to be A weasel is what you see But truckin’ shall be my destiny. Wizard Broc A mighty sorcerer am I To conjure you a truck Behold, your very own semi! Good journey, and good luck. Milo Thanks uncle! Bye! I’ll call you from the road every now and then! King Bronwen Many thanks to you, Wizard Broc! (go to act II) |
Act II “On the Road” Milo Breaker one nine, breaker one nine. Anybody out there got their ears on? Big Joe Ten-four, good buddy. The name’s Big Joe in the Phantom 309, headin’ north towards Stoat. Milo I gotcha, this here’s Milo Stylo and Colonel Herman. We’re right on your tail. • • • AM Radio DJ That there was the Fabulous Ferret Brothers Trio with a little instrumental they call “Girl, You’re the Zorilla of My Dreams.” And now for the weather here in Little Grison. You can expect flurries this evening— first snow of the season, so it won’t stick. • • • Milo What was that, Teddy Bear? Can you come back at me? Teddy Bear Yeah, keep your flippers flappin’ and your eyes wide open ’cause it may be summer, but it’s rain, rain, rain. Nothin’ new in Teledu. Milo I copy ya Teddy Bear, and thanks for the update. • • • King Bronwen Milo, I’m tired, and there’s a big traffic jam up ahead. Let’s pull over at the truck stop. Milo Aw shucks, you jus’ wanna stop there cuz yer sweet on the waitress who works in the diner. King Bronwen Shut up, and go call your uncle! Milo OK, sorry, Your Majes— I mean Herman, heh heh. King Bronwen Uh, I’m so tired, I could fall asleep right here... “The Witching Hour” Three Witches We know who you are And we know what you want We know who you are And we know what you want Give us the mirror, we’ll give you ein kuss Give us the mirror, and we shall rule We know who you are We know what you want We know who you are We know what you want Give us the mirror, we’ll give you ein kuss Give us the mirror, and we shall rule For you. Aaaaahhhhhhggghhh!! Act III “Peace, Love, and Cappuccino” Minka Wake up, wake up, Herman, wake up! Wake up, Herman, wake up! King Bronwen O Minka I’ve seen the golden cliffs of Grison Heard water fill the air The thund’rous falls at Little Grison Wonders beyond compare! I’ve tasted the sweet honey Of famous Teledu But nothing touches this sweet moment The wonder of seeing you. I dreamt of three witches As lovely skunks did they appear In song they offered me my wishes In exchange for this mirror. I turned the mirror toward them And reached in their direction They saw themselves for who they were And melted in their reflection. Through the fog they disappeared And so also did my fear Minka, I heard you calling me Your voice so sweet and clear. I am King Bronwen, not Herman Not a weasel, but your liege, the ermine Take this ring as a symbol of my love Take this mirror, to protect our love. Minka O Bronwen A truck drivin’ weasel you appeared to me A kindly monarch I know you to be I love you, but I like my job I can’t leave my espresso machine. King Bronwen Minka, I wasn’t askin’ you to leave it She’s got an espresso machine And she’ll never leave it. Minka That’s right I’ve got a cappuccino machine It makes pretty music I’ve got an espresso machine And I’ll teach you how to use it. O Bronwen A noble king I know you to be A loving husband now I see I accept your mirror and your ring Your declaration of love for me. Bronwen & Minka Together forever, you and me Nevermore to be alone Forever after we shall drink Cappuccino topped with foam! |
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